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“I’m Sorry I Don’t Know How to Say I’m Sorry” - Apologizing to a Romantic Partner in the Aftermath of a Gambling Problem

Romantic partners of problem gamblers frequently state the apologies they receive lack depth, specificity, or sincerity. Partners are not convinced that cheap apologies will result in meaningful or sustained changes in behavior. Moreover, such apologies fail to provide reassurance that the gambler understands the impact of their choices. Interestingly, problem gamblers report wanting to apologize but say they don’t know how and feel frustrated that efforts they make are ineffective. Additionally, part of the process of apologizing can trigger shame for gamblers as they listen to descriptions of how their behavior has negatively impacted their partner’s lives. Sadly, failed attempts at apologizing can lead to negative interactions between couples and create further pain and suffering in the relationship. This presentation will focus on how gamblers can offer a meaningful apology to a romantic partner including how to avoid common pitfalls, the steps of a meaningful apology, and how to navigate the challenges that arise when offering an apology.

Session start: June 5, 2026 at 4:00 PM

Session end: June 5, 2026 at 7:00 PM

Credit

2 CE

Prerequisite

None

Class Instructor

Dr. Rory Reid

  • Live class (2.0 CE) is 09:00am - 11:00am PDT
  • Optional networking session (does not award CE) is 11:00am-12:00pm PDT

Romantic partners of problem gamblers frequently state the apologies they receive lack depth, specificity, or sincerity. Partners are not convinced that cheap apologies will result in meaningful or sustained changes in behavior. Moreover, such apologies fail to provide reassurance that the gambler understands the impact of their choices. Interestingly, problem gamblers report wanting to apologize but say they don’t know how and feel frustrated that efforts they make are ineffective. Additionally, part of the process of apologizing can trigger shame for gamblers as they listen to descriptions of how their behavior has negatively impacted their partner’s lives. Sadly, failed attempts at apologizing can lead to negative interactions between couples and create further pain and suffering in the relationship. This presentation will focus on how gamblers can offer a meaningful apology to a romantic partner including how to avoid common pitfalls, the steps of a meaningful apology, and how to navigate the challenges that arise when offering an apology.

Learning Objectives:

  • Identify 3 common challenges that arise when gamblers try to apologize to a romantic partner
  • Identify 2 ways that shame, cheap apologies, and cheap forgiveness impair the process of healing for couples whose relationship is negatively impacted by problem gambling.
  • Describe the 4 steps to a meaningful apology and how they can use Artificial Intelligence to assist in drafting their apology.

Class Outline:

  • Understanding Apologies in the Context of Gambling Disorder (20 minutes)
  • Why Apologies Fail and Barriers to Accountability (20 minutes) 
  • Core Components of an Effective Apology (30 minutes)
  • The Seven Domains of a Meaningful Apology (35 minutes)
  • Clinical Applications and Recovery-Oriented Interventions (15 minutes)

Educational Goals:

  • Identify common ineffective apology patterns that undermine trust and relationship repair in individuals with gambling disorder.
  • Explain the emotional, relational, and psychological impact gambling disorder can have on romantic partners and affected others.
  • Describe the key components and domains of a meaningful and effective apology within the context of gambling recovery.
  • Apply clinical strategies to help individuals with gambling disorder develop accountability, empathy, and communication skills.
  • Recognize therapeutic considerations for rebuilding trust and supporting reconciliation in couples impacted by gambling-related harm.

Class Content